he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I don't deserve a penis
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
