having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
it's like iHOP with fire
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
