is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
