I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
