Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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