I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Randomize
