She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
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