Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
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We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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