He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize