i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
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