I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
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