I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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