I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
