Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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