Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
