bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
this must be what syphilis tastes like
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
