i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Randomize
