I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
You were trust falling into bushes
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Randomize
