i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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