similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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