youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
