Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
Randomize
