Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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