how hairy? two words: wookie tits
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize