guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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