All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize