think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Just cropdusted the office
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
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I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
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It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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