the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
