I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
how does that bad decision feel?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
