He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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