he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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