so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
