I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize