Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
