the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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