U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
