she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize