he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize