Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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