I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
