Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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