worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
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