but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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