it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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