i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
