My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
