Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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