you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
splinters make it hard to masturbate
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
