it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
