I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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