Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
I'm really busy with my period
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