you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
