so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
