Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
