She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
