dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
