didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Randomize
