Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
