he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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