paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
