My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Randomize
