Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
