she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
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