Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
