when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
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