think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
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What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
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You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize