also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
