I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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